I believe in being real. After the disaster that was my second marriage, I realized that I was no longer willing to hide, pretend, or sugar-coat in attempt to get love or acceptance. It didn’t work and only made things worse, and I was done with it. So I decided to be real from then on.At first, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but as I took off the masks and filters, I noticed my relationships getting closer and deeper. Turns out my therapist was right all along—who knew!
It’s been almost 10 years since I made the switch, so I’ve had a lot of time to practice. I thought I was pretty good at it. If you had asked me, I would have said I was as real as I could be.
But then my former coach posed this question:
What if everyone could see you the way we do in this mastermind?
That’s when I realized I had a long way to go.
I was completely raw and unfiltered in that group. There was a lot of ugly-crying.
- When something didn’t work, I’d share that, not worrying that they’d see me as a failure.
- When something did work, I’d share that, not worrying that they’d see me as an arrogant jerk.
- Most of my feelings feel like overreactions, but I’d share those too, not worrying that the group would see me as a drama queen.
Those ladies saw everything, and you know what? They think I’m amazing. The sparkly vision of the person I’m building within myself? They already see me as that. It’s an incredible feeling, and I imagine how great it would be if everyone could see that. So I’m making it happen.
I always used to say I wanted to be rich but never famous. I equated fame with a lot of hassles and haters, and I wanted no part of it. But I’ve changed my mind. I believe that full self-expression is polarizing. If people see the real you, they’re bound to have strong reaction—some will be attracted, and some will be repelled. But I’d rather have a big impact on some people who think I’m amazing (even if it means other people will think I’m a total git) than stay neutral and hidden.
I posted a video about this on our Facebook page — you can check it out here
(Spoiler alert: I was triggered by a ventriloquist and ended up writing a poem and reading it in public. Plus dick jokes.)
Meanwhile, how much do the people in your life get to see the real you? What do you think would happen if they saw more?
If you want to explore this more, I’ve created a playful PDF just for you!
Have fun, and comment below about your biggest takeaways.
Love and keepin’ it real!
Cara
P.S. If you’re ready to take it all the way in your business, I’ve got the program for you: Embodying “Just You” Success. You can learn more here.