A lot of people I know are stuck. In one way or another (or lots of ways at once), their lives aren’t what they want them to be. Maybe we’re all stuck, just to different degrees.
There’s mega-stuck: living hand to mouth, up to your eyeballs in debt, working a job you hate, drowning in responsibilities, no visible way out. Then there’s ordinary stuck: the typical 9-to-5 life society seems to expect of us, where you’re not really happy, actually you feel kind of dead, but you also feel ungrateful when you consider how much worse you could have it… yet, isn’t there something more?
I’ve been ordinary stuck, as well as horrible relationship stuck, false obligation stuck, mad frantic perpetual rush stuck, blank boredom apathy stuck, self-devaluing stuck, and probably some others I can’t remember.
Lately, though, I’ve been a much better kind of stuck: possibility overload stuck, dream-chasing stuck, excitement overwhelm stuck. I still feel stuck in that I’m not where I want to be yet, there are all these seeming contradictions, it’s hard to tell whether I’m making progress, and I’m never sure what to do next. But it’s a stuck of hope rather than a stuck of despair. Woohoo! Maybe everyone is just on one huge stuck continuum, or maybe the enlightened ones finally find a way not to be stuck at all.
What amazes me is that, just when I arrived at this new plane of stuckness, I happened to read Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms, and it answered a lot my most pressing questions:
- How do you figure out what your dream really is? (Is it ok to have more than one?)
- What is the purpose of all this? Why are we here? What are we supposed to be doing?
- What is holding me back? Why do I often fall so far short of my dreams?
- What can I do to ensure my success?
- How can I overcome my fear of failure?
- How can I find more time to pursue my dreams?
- While I’m throwing all this energy at my big, exciting goals, and hearing so much advice to “do it now,” how can I stand the fact that I’m not where I want to be yet?
- How can I keep myself from getting burned out on the things I love and destroying my passion for them?
If you’re happy possibility dream-chasing stuck, or even just ordinary stuck, maybe you have these questions, too. That’s why I have to share this ebook with all of you–if even one person finds it as awesome as I did, it’s totally worth it.
Reclaim Your Dreams: book review
I really enjoyed the ebook itself–it’s well written, helpful, and inspirational. But for me, the best part was actually the accompanying workbook. It’s kind of funny, because usually I don’t even buy the upgrade package for this sort of thing. But I got this as part of that crazy E-business E-book sale back in November, and it came with the workbook package included.
Seriously, there is something to be said for doing the work of writing stuff down. Normally, when I read this sort of book, I would just idly think the first answer that comes to mind for these exercises, or just “I don’t know!” and read on.
But with the workbook, somehow I got more serious. Writing has always been my best way of figuring out what I really think about something anyway, and it forced me to think about my answers to the questions much more than I otherwise would have. No way I was writing “I don’t know!” in this workbook, I had to actually think of something. Also, having it written down, I started incorporating my conclusions into my life and taking action, instead of just forgetting my answers a second later as I read on.
Of course, the book itself was also really good. How to find your dreams and follow them? That’s one of the keys to living a satisfying life, so of course I’m all ears. If you’re doing stuff that’s not meaningful or enjoyable to you, it sucks the life out of you. There are two ways to fix that: find meaning in the things you’re already doing, or change what you’re doing. This book includes help with both.
As mentioned before, one of my favorite parts is about the meaning of life: “The point of living is to enjoy life.” For me, that’s a huge idea.
If we redefine success as enjoying what we’re doing instead of accomplishing a list of things, making $X, or being able to quit my job this summer, that changes everything. It removes the tension from the process. What should I do right now? The thing I want to do most. What if things don’t turn out the way I envision? The book includes guidance on how to maximize chances of success, but meanwhile, if I like what I’m doing, I can’t be a failure, because enjoying it is the point. What if it takes longer than I’d like to get where I want to be? It’s not that big a deal, because I’m already happy now.
I also really enjoyed the sections on how we hold ourselves back, and how to stop. I think most people know that our feelings aren’t always based in reality and aren’t an objective source for guidance. This book points out that our thoughts and beliefs aren’t always, either, and you don’t have to listen to anyone, including yourself, telling you you’re wrong or bad or inadequate.
These are just the two sections I found most interesting. There are also parts on fixing your priorities, putting the things you value first, getting started, erasing your limits, succeeding in any circumstances, integrating your heart and mind, and figuring out what you really want. Oh yeah, and how to overcome uncertainty and the fear of failure!
There are a lot of different kinds of stuck, and a lot of different resources to help with them. I rarely review stuff here, but this is just too awesome not to share. If you’re this kind of stuck, check it out:
Reclaim Your Dreams: An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms
(This is an affiliate link. That means I get a commission on any sales from this review; if you buy a copy, you’re supporting me, so thanks!)