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Lessons from the World Domination Summit, part 1

Lately, I’ve been so absorbed with 17000 Days and getting my business launched, I hardly go anywhere or do anything else. But that all changed this past weekend: I flew to Portland, OR, for the World Domination Summit.

I used to love flying, but for a few years in there, every time I flew, the airline employees were super rude, I was treated like baggage, at least one plane was delayed, my luggage arrived a day late, and it would have been faster to drive. So I quit flying.

However, Alabama to Oregon is just too far, so I bit the bullet and bought a plane ticket. After all the uproar about full-body scanners or TSA personnel touching your junk, I wasn’t feeling very good about it. In fact, I had resolved to vote with my feet/pocketbook/junk and just never fly again rather than tolerate the rude treatment.

Practicality won out, though, and I was pleasantly surprised: the flight was perfectly smooth, everything was on time, and everyone was nice. I didn’t star in any porn flicks or get felt up by security or anything. Better yet, I got a window seat and got to watch the landscape change as we flew over Texas, the Rockies, and the area around Portland, which was velvety-mossy green. The fields were planted with a few rows each of many different crops, giving them stripes like hand-knit socks. It was super cool. I was totally captivated by the scenery and thoroughly enjoyed the flight.
Lesson 1: Don’t lose your sense of wonder.

Once I got to Portland, I had to take a train to the hostel where I was staying, and then walk six blocks. I’ve lived in cities before, but doing this made me realize that usually I travel by car with someone else who knows where we’re going. It’s nice to be able to relax and not have to be responsible for finding your way, but I think I’ve gotten too comfortable. It was good for me to go to a new place by myself and learn my way around.

It turned out, a few of the other people on the train were also in town for the World Domination Summit, so soon we were talking about blogs and jumping out of planes and other crazy/fun stuff like that. I was in town for five minutes and already finding really cool people.
Lesson 2: Get out of your cocoon and see new things.

I arrived early enough to give myself a full day to wander before the conference started. That worked out well–I got to walk around, get a feel for how the city was laid out, take some pictures, and check out the waterfront. It seemed like many people never did catch up to the ease and comfort with navigating the city that I got from that day.
Lesson 3: give yourself a chance to get your bearings.

Once the conference started, there was a lot to absorb. The days were pretty solidly packed with keynotes, workshops, and excursions. Meanwhile, everyone was intent on networking, so any time there was a break between speakers, the volume quickly climbed to a roar as 500 people attempted to exchange introductions and stories.

The tension of being packed in with so many other people and the noise of all those conversations wore me out quickly, but I didn’t want to miss anything. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and fraught.

Meanwhile, between the time difference and Portland’s northerly early sunrises, I was waking up at 5 every morning. That didn’t help. By the end of Saturday, I had no interest in attending anything like this ever again.

I guess I just had to let go, because I approached Sunday with a totally different attitude. Instead of making sure I didn’t miss anything, I decided my primary concern was taking care of myself. I wasn’t going to worry about anything else, just try to be as comfortable as possible.

That started with eating a leisurely breakfast in the hostel kitchen and talking to a really interesting person who joined me at the table. I was late–late!–to the first keynote of the day, and I no longer cared.

I really enjoyed talking with my breakfast companion, I stopped to sniff every rose bush in one gloriously decked out yard, and I ended up joining another very cool WDSer to walk the rest of the way to the tail end of the first keynote.

I ended up having a really great time and getting a lot out of the Sunday talks. It was completely unlike my experience of Saturday.
Lesson 4: Relax.

As I chilled out and let go, a funny thing happened: a lot of the speakers and workshops started having people pair up and talk about one thing or another on the topic of the workshop. Each time this happened, my introvert self groaned inwardly and wanted to flee. But, each time it happened, I talked to someone who turned out to be amazingly cool, heard a great story, and fell more in love with life.

I can be very shy. I went into this with the intention of meeting and enjoying other people, but it didn’t really happen until I had a few of these experiences to show me what I was missing by keeping to myself.

In the end, to my utter surprise, the best parts had little or nothing to do with the speakers or the formal parts of the conference. The best parts were the other people. Each time I talked to someone one-on-one or in a group of three or four, there was so much synergy and encouragement and inspiration! I never expected that.
Lesson 5: The greatest gift comes when you take the time to really see people and listen to them.

Once I bought into wanting to talk to people, a lot of opportunities to do that opened up.

One of the things I had been looking forward to most about the conference was meeting my awesome coach. We’ve been talking every week for four months now, and I was really eager to spend some time with him in person. One of the things I feared about the conference was that I would embarrass myself by not recognizing people from their avatar photos, but he saw me first and greeted me with a delightful hug. What a treat!

However, I was really caught off guard by how attractive he is in person. In my experience, the “beautiful people” are to be avoided at all costs because they’re generally self-absorbed, mean assholes. Plus, this is my coach, who is married—two great reasons why it’s really not appropriate to be attracted to him. Awkward!

I got to spend a good bit of time with him, though, and hanging around with him quickly proved that, despite his excessive hotness, he’s a totally cool guy and great to be around. His wife is also ridiculously good-looking and a totally sweet, warm person.
Lesson 6: The outsides don’t matter–even if they’re frickin’ gorgeous.

Another surprise of the weekend was how much fun I had hanging out in bars. In my experience, bars are smoke-filled, deafeningly loud places crowded with drunks and skanks. And boredom. I never would have gone on my own.

However, in Portland, there’s no smoking in bars, and the noise level was low enough that you could carry on a conversation. I ended up staying up super late two nights in a row, having a blast talking to people I had never met before and hearing their stories. That ended up being my favorite part of the whole weekend.
Lesson 7: Try stuff you wouldn’t normally do! Fun can turn up in unexpected places.

Over the course of the conference, when I introduced myself and talked about 17000 Days, more and more people started telling me I just had to meet this guy… 32000 Days!

I have to admit, my initial reaction was “hey, no fair, this was my idea, and how can he have almost twice as many days as me?! Get off my turf!!!”

I used to feel this way all the time when I met someone doing something similar, but a post on Everyday Bright called Dare to be Similar showed me that it’s good, not bad, to find out that other people are doing what you’re doing. Even if I hadn’t believed the post, it’s been proven to me by the fact that Jen at Everyday Bright and Stacey Curnow of Midwife For Your Life both write very similar things and have become two of my absolute favorite e-friends.

So I decided to be happy to meet Mr. 32000 Days and started seeking him out.

Turns out he’s one of the coolest people out of the whole trip! We talked for at least an hour in some bar, and I had a total blast. Guess what? We have a lot in common.
Lesson 8: Dare to be similar. Instead of being threatened, enjoy your shared interests.

Looking back on the trip, I’m still replaying conversations and fun times and grinning like a maniac.

I think part of the reason I’ve avoided meeting people and socializing for so long is that I don’t think of myself as an interesting person. But when I was hanging out with everyone, I truly enjoyed listening to them, but I also had a blast telling my own stories.

Amanda Oaks of Kind Over Matter recently invited me to contribute to her forthcoming ebook, and I had a really hard time thinking of a funny story to send her. I thought for weeks and never did come up with anything I was all that happy with. I concluded it was impossible, especially with a 250-word limit, and just sent in something to meet the deadline.

But this weekend, I told story after story, and people laughed and laughed. Also, as people asked questions about what I do and what I like, I started talking about contra dancing, kung fu, roller hockey, autocross, art… and suddenly realized, I’ve done a lot of interesting stuff!
Lesson 9: Don’t sell yourself short. You’re not boring. You only seem ordinary to yourself because you’re around yourself all the time.

Overall, the World Domination Summit was a total blast. I’m happy to be home, but I’m also really glad I preregistered for next year. I even booked my hostel room already.

It’s hot here after all that perfect weather in Portland, and being back at work has been a godawful culture shock. But I’m reunited with my boyfriend, my kitty cat, my Miata, and my bed! I’ve been savoring those things and more. I’m so happy.

I was afraid the trip would make me want to move to Portland. It is a cool place, but Alabama is still where I want to be.
Lesson 10: There’s no place like home.

Coming soon: Part 2 in this series will be great stuff from the talks and workshops.