I know I’m not the only one who seems to get around to solitude, creativity, and recharging only after all the “serious work” is done (i.e., never, in some cases). What if you broke your Dig Deep button and put coming alive first?
Have you ever been so tired, you find yourself wailing despairingly, “I just want to go to bed!” …when you’re already on your way there?
“The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you say to someone when you’re being uncool.”
– Almost Famous
It’s a year ago today that I gathered the last few things out of my office, took my name plate off the door, and walked out for the last time–a free woman. Here’s the secret most people won’t tell you: exciting = terrifying + awesome.
Once upon a time (a.k.a. this morning), I woke up feeling grumpy, anxious, and overwhelmed. (Also, fat and whiny–just to complete the picture.) Around 9:00, the phone rang…
I sat at my beige desk, surrounded by beige walls and beige bookcases. The ceiling vent inexorably blew cold air on my neck, as it had every day for four years. I felt the beginnings of my daily boredom headache taking root as the afternoon stretched on, snagged and stuck on the eternal 2:33 pm.
Sometimes, you’re so fired up, your energy feels like a big glistening color-filled bubble in your chest, pulling you irresistibly toward creativity and success. But then there are the other times. If you’ve experienced The Pull, and then experienced the lack of it, you know what a slog it can be to try to work when it’s gone. So, what can you do?
I used to think something was wrong with me. I need to eat frequently or I get grumpy, then stupid. Shrill noises give me a headache. I can’t think when there’s too much going on or if there’s a loud environment. A scratchy tag in my shirt can ruin my whole day. If someone makes a careless remark, it can bother me for days afterward. Sound familiar?
I stood frozen, watching the car speed toward me. It was a deer-in-the-headlights moment: I knew I had to get out of the way, but there I stood, rooted to the spot as the car got closer.
If you could do anything, if nothing was holding you back and there were no rules, no constraints, no money problems, no judgmental faces… what would you do?
I’m afraid of lots of things: car accidents, getting mugged, running out of money, being laughed at, getting rejected, failing. I’m kind of used to those fears. But this was something different.
